PTSD pt 2

It seems like all things have finally left me. I mean to include words too – my most forgiving savior.

I am convinced that it is part of the final stage of this long odyssey I’ve en-trailed on for almost twenty-two years.

Heavy, hot flashes of headaches and turbulent washes of emotion fill my days.

For over a year, I could scarcely feel emotions that deeply and now they are beginning to cloud me. They make everything almost impossible: work, course-work, and preparing for an entrance exam so I can achieve my dream.

I am still breathing and pressing on. That has to count for something?

I wish I could capture this toxic milieu of feelings and sensations into poetry. I don’t even want to try. That’s how I know how far gone I am.

I do know something with a troubling amount of certainty: It will get better, but not before it gets worse.

 

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